Thursday, September 06, 2007

Are these all yours?

When I was pregnant (11 days ago now!), I would frequently get the remark, "Wow, you are going to have your hands full." I would always just nod and smile.

Being naive (as I often am), I didn't think the comments would come so soon after her birth. On Tuesday, I took my first solo trip with all three in tow for Isabella's first doctor appointment. As we were leaving the office, a lady in passing asked, "Are these all yours?" Naturally, I give my usual response- I nod and smile.

"My, you have your hands full!"

"Yes," I nod, "in a good way." I smile.

She continues, "How old are they?"

Still smiling, "3, 2, and 1 week."

"Wow. Oh well, at least you got a girl out of it," she says.

I smile, again, my default response. Like I would have been unhappy if she was a boy, I think. This lady has some nerve!

"Are you done now?" she asks.

"Oh no!" (biggest smile here) "I hope not."

"OOh.... " her jaw drops as she walks away.

It is so weird that people think they somehow have a right to say something about the number of children I have! The worst part to me is that my children are going to hear this probably for the rest of their childhood- complete strangers making negative remarks about their very existence! The funny thing is, I don't go up and ask people why they only have one or two children and when are they going to have more!

It doesn't upset me when people ask me these things, I know I am probably an unusual sight- a young mom with three children three and under. I just try to always respond with a smile and an answer that affirms the value of our children because I want my children to know how happy I am to have each one of them.

6 comments:

Donna said...

I hear you! I get so angry when people comment on the number I have. Which is only 4. But I often hear negative remarks about the fact that I have all boys. Sure a girl would have been nice, but I love my boys dearly and would not trade them for anything. Society looks down on boys now sooo much--its no wonder so many woman have to work, because there are so few boys now being raised to think confidently about who they are and what they are soon to become--wonderful MEN! I hate how many boys I being put on ADD medications and such just because they are DIFFERENT than us girls--yes they are different because God intended them to be different--he intended for them to be our defenders, protectors, kings of our homes and yet so many women "down" the thought of having a bunch of boys--it is so sad and no wonder our country is in the state it is in. I will get off my soap box, but this is one subject that does not sit well with me--I am always saying, yes I am a proud mother to 4 boys and love being the queen my home, I don't need a little princess running around :) I am happy being the queen bee!

Mandy said...

I think boys are wonderful- you are so right that they are different for a purpose and the rough and toughness of boys is God's built-in design for their future role as protector and leader. If we don't allow them to be what they are naturally now, how are we to expect that they grow up to be strong leading men? Such great points you made!

Quinn said...

I'm always sorry to hear this happening to another mother! My fourth child is 9 mos. old and my growing family bring comments nearly every time we leave the house. I turn into a grinning bobble-head whenever people comment. What has always really bothered me wasn't so much what they said (There isn't anything I can do about another person's manners - or lack thereof.) What bothers me is my witness - or lack thereof - that comes along with their rudeness. We are allowing the Lord to bless us with as many children as He sees fit, recognizing that He is the Creator of all life. We want to obey His command to be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth abundantly. No matter how many times I'm tested in this situation, I seem to either fail or fumble over my words. After mentioning this on several occasions to my sister, she made a beautifully written tract for me to hand out to these people. They're being printed for me now, so I haven't had a chance to use them, but I hope that it works.

Your new little bundle of joy is beautiful - and what a lovely name!

Mandy said...

Quinn, I would love to know what your sister wrote if you would be willing to share. I am sure I am only at the beginning of people commenting- it would be so great to have something that would witness to people also.

Quinn said...

I'd be glad to share it with you! It seems kind of long to post here, but I could if you'd like me to. If, after you and your husband have read through it for biblical accuracy, you'd like to use it, I could mail you a batch and then when those are gone, you could have copies made locally. I think my sister is having them made at Staples. I'm sure she'd be delighted to hear that someone other than her sisters are using it.

Mandy said...

Thank you Quinn! I would really love to read it- could you email it to me sometime after it's ready at candymandy18 at yahoo dot com?

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