At our Bible study, we've joked that we were starting a Doer's Club.
"Nothing is more manifest in fact, than that the things of religion take hold of men’s souls no further than they affect them. There are multitudes that often hear the word of God, and therein hear of those things that are infinitely great and important, and that most concern them, and all that is heard seems to be wholly ineffectual upon them, and to make no alteration in their disposition or behaviour, and the reason is, they are NOT AFFECTED WITH WHAT THEY HEAR." Jonathan EdwardsI think God has been working on me, because more and more I want to do the things He wants for me. I could never, ever do that on my own! Over the past year He has drawn me closer and closer to Him, and my heart is so full, sometimes I don't know how I can continue to be on the earth and live regular life. It's like two different beings are in me, one who talks and communes with God internally and wishes for nothing else, and the reality of life being, who takes care of children, cooks, cleans, shops, teaches, and exercises. It's all crazy talk, I know. It sounds crazy to me. I don't understand it.
The funny thing is, I knew the closer to Him I became, the more the trials would increase. In fact, a couple months ago, my brother sent me an email in jest, saying, "if we are in the doer's club, you realize we will encounter more trials and suffering, right?"
So, for the past few weeks, I had just felt increasingly close to God, and I actually thought last Monday, I feel like I know what abundant life is, this joy that fills my heart to the depths of my soul, and makes me wish I could be in Heaven, while at the same time, profoundly happy with my life on earth.
Then the hardest trial of my life began (and ended) last week. I was hit hard by some news that was far more than I could take, and it was crushing to me. I pleaded and cried out to God, and my heart felt like it was bleeding. From the highest joy to the lowest point, within hours.
And from the trial of last week came one of the most amazing gifts the Lord has given me in this life, the salvation of my husband!!!
Within two days, my heart was restored by my precious Lord. He gave me a changed heart- joy and love when I had the lowest of despair. I cried out to Him, not knowing what to do, and He answered me. And His plans were far better than my own.
This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him
and saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the LORD encamps
around those who fear him, and delivers them.
Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him