suicide and depression- loving those walking through it {links}

how can you love someone who is hurting this week?
I just wanted to quickly share two articles that are really worth your time to read:

From Beth Moore- Oh, every time I see Christians bashing other people or other Christians on Facebook about hot topics like homosexuality, suicide, and even chicken sandwiches, it makes me want to cry... it feels like such a shame to the body of Christ. I don't understand why anyone would ever feel compelled to hate on someone they don't even know or other Christians in general in such a public place. 

I love what she writes in response to the serious hatred and attacks going on toward the Warren family who lost their son to suicide this weekend. Oh friends, please consider what you are saying before you speak- especially in front of hundreds of your friends.

No one is going to be perfectly in control of their tongue all the time, I'm certainly not {!}, but it's the harsh words of others that we cannot forget, isn't it? You don't have to agree with everyone or their theology, but you are called to love always, and remember those public figures are real people too.

On Depression- Ann Voskamp writes about depression and suicide, from the other side. I think the Christian community easily dismisses depression as simply a spiritual issue and walks on, but we are called to reach out to the broken- and those broken in spirit need it even more. Love, love, love the poor in spirit, even when you don't understand why they could be sad. 

27 comments

Melody said...

Thank-you so much for addressing this delicate topic. There is a lot of bashing and finger-pointing from those who have never first-hand dealt with this topic in their family. I lost my aunt to depression/suicide many years ago and I have witnessed first-hand the careless words people speak. Thank-you again for bringing this topic to light in a gentle reminder.

Heather G. said...

Thank you for sharing these links! A dear friend of ours lost her husband about 3 years ago to suicide. He had been a deacon in the church and seemed to be on fire for the Lord. He was a professor of biology and had his doctorate degree in this. Then one day, he decided to end it and leave behind his wife and 5 year old son. We may never understand, but bashing and criticizing is definitely not the route to take!

Mary said...

In society there is much shame in losing someone to suicide. My brother committed suicide almost two years ago. The pain that goes with that is so unbelievably hard. People in my church really didn't know how to respond, so they did nothing. My family didn't want me to talk about him, so I hurt inside...so deeply and it was almost as if I wasn't allowed to miss him...as if because he took his own life he didn't matter. Sometimes I miss him so much that I can almost feel my heart literally ache. People have no idea the impact of careless words or actions have. Losing someone this way is just as painful...if not maybe even a little more than losing someone another way. The feelings of guilt, shame, helplessness, guilt, and more guilt bring an oppression that is hard to overcome...people heaping on insults, blame, and just foolish talk or doing nothing make it so much worse. Thank you for writing about this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Theresa said...

Thank you for touching the subject of depression. We lost my dad almost three years ago in a motorcycle accident. My mom is so lost I have found myself at a loss to comfort her. Need to ask God for guidance.
Again thank you. This was perfect timing as yesterday was his birthday. God bless.

Denise DiBelardino said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Brittini Austin said...

Thank you so much for this post! I love it! Thought you might want to know...I tried to get to your blog by clicking on the link you have posted underneath your bio and it said suspicious link...

Brittini Austin said...

That is on Pinterest lol. I tried clicking the link underneath your Bio on Pinterest, sorry left that part out

Missy said...

Depression has a horrible stigma to it, that should not be. I am a 37 year old homeschool mama of three. I dealt with deep depression most of my life. I recall being depressed as a 2nd grader, of course, I had no idea what it really was. I just felt sad and lonely, nearly all of the time. It was not until High School when I began a six year battle with anorexia that the depression found a way to cope. Two hospital stays and six years later, a Dr. finally prescribed an antidepressant for me and my life changed. I will tell you, I was not a follower at the time, but I felt God pulling on the strings of my heart. Prozac changed my life. The dark cloud was lifted and I saw rays of sunlight for the first time in years. My eating disorder began to fade away and I found joy in the simple things in life. I was saved with my husband in 2003 and began weaning off meds as we wanted to have a baby. I did very well for a long time, until post partum depression came for a visit. For the past years, I have been on and off meds. I do not abuse them, I use them when my body seems to be working against me and I feel the cloud coming back. I feel no shame in it and I do not attribute it to a lack of faith. For me, my depression was not situational it was a long term issue I battled that was not going to go away on its own. I tried that, to my despair. Thank you Mandy for sharing this. I feel like I know you and I have never met you. I would love to sit and have a cup of tea with you!!! Blessings to you and your family and wee one you are still growing!!!

thechattymommy said...

Love what you wrote and even more so, love reading these comments- it is a real eye opener. And I will be more diligent in watching my tongue.

Vanessa said...

Maybe because her blog URL is still with blogspot?

I haven't purchased my domain and was having trouble "verifying" my blog website on Pinterest as well. Not sure if that's the issue, though.

Vanessa said...

Our pastor recently posted something on Facebook about the stigma of suicide/depression in the Christian community, in light of recent events with the Warren family.

I struggled with understanding what happens to souls after something so heart wrenching like suicide.

But I cling to the fact that my God is good. He overwhelms me with mercy and grace.

I'm not a theologian and I don't read my Bible as much as I should.

But I know that to be true- God is so so good.

Ulrika said...

This touches on something that I've been thinking about a lot myself - this really weird thing... I feel like I go back and forth between fairly liberal Christianity (depends on what you read into that word of course) and fairly conservative. I'm having problems with a lot of things in more liberal Christianity for sure and I find more conservative Christianity sort of safe and like a well-defined set of ideas if you will. However, at the same time I've noticed that the more homogeneous a group of Christians I make myself a part of is, the more it invokes judgment and criticism in me towards people who don't share that set of opinions/interpretations. Then it's like one day I snap out of it and feel like I have to be free to think for myself and listen for myself to what God tells me instead of going with the norm within a particular group and this is the only way I can stay loving and accepting of other people. And I feel that that leaves me a bit "alone" in the body of Christ in terms of denominations etc. I never feel quite comfortable anywhere. Do you get what I mean?

Stephanie said...

Ulrika,

I feel the same way. Being "alone" is probably good in that sense because it means we are looking right to God (so of course not alone at all).

Mandy said...

I do- it's like God has a set of rules and man has his own to "go along with it"... I think you're far better off being "alone" in Christ than following the rules of man though- and I love what Stephanie said below! I think judgment and criticism is always farther away from God's desire for us than Christians think it is... :) It's so much easier for people to criticize and do nothing than to love even when they disagree and have to get out of their comfort zones. :) great thoughts, girlie!

Mandy said...

so true!! :)

Mandy said...

He is! And we don't have to know all of the answers- or come to a decision or stance on issues and things to know that He is always, always, good. :) And he is so much bigger than we are!

Mandy said...

I thought the same thing- it's so good to hear from those about what it's like to be on the receiving end- it makes you really start to see what it's like, and think. Thanks for sharing!!

Mandy said...

Oh, I'm so sorry you've had to walk through that, Denise. Thank you for sharing your story with us- it's so helpful to hear what your experience is- it seems to confirm what Ann wrote even more. I hope that you know you are an amazing wife and momma to love your husband through those hard trials. I am praying for you tonight!!

Mandy said...

thank you for letting me know! I think I might know why- I think I need to verify it and haven't gotten to doing it...or at least I hope that's why! thanks again girlie!

Mandy said...

Oh! I'm so sorry your family is going through that. :( I am praying for you, and your mama tonight!! much love to you, Theresa!

Mandy said...

Oh, Mary, how awful. I'm so so sorry- what a terrible thing to go through. I'm sorry about the way everyone reacted- I can't imagine what it must have been like for you. Much love to you sweet girl. I'm praying tonight that God brings you such comfort when you're hurting. You have every right to hurt and ache for him...it means you still love your brother, which is a wonderful thing!! much love to you, sweet friend.

Mandy said...

Oh, I agree with you, Heather! It's like Satan loves to add insult to injured, literally. :( Thank you for sharing some of your story with us!

Mandy said...

Thank you for telling us what it's like too- I know it's so good for us to be reminded that every word we speak does matter, and possibly even more so to the already hurting. Thank you, Melody!

Mandy said...

Oh- thank you for sharing your testimony, Missy! I am so glad to hear your story and that it has an amazing outcome! So happy for you guys to be saved!! ahhhhh! :D I wish we could sit and have tea and talk about Jesus and what he has done for us! Maybe one day we will- if not here, in Heaven! :) thanks for telling your story, friend!

JoyBelle said...

It's probably a good thing I haven't seen the negativity because I would get some holy anger in my heart. Someone lost their child in a very upsetting way. I just don't GET why people have to be so nasty.

Denise DiBelardino said...

Thank you from my heart. God moves when we pray, and I feel honored to know you prayed for us!

Anonymous said...

Being a Christian that struggles with depression and anxiety I appreciate you posting this because some reason Christians don't want to admit they struggle with depression even though God says in our weaknesses his strength is shown. I even went seven years w/o taking meds because a pastor said you lack faith if you take them and I let that condemnation control me. We need to stand up, speak out, and love one another truthfully, unconditionally, and honestly. Take off the fake perfect Christian masks and get real. Annie Hendricks