giveaway: Messy Beautiful Love: Hope and Redemption for Real Life Marriages

Right now we're knee deep in moving and homeless to boot. :) It's a lot like labor- and we're in transition. :) The reaaalllly painful part of it. :D

Instead of sharing more messy moving pics now, I have something much more fun planned- another giveaway!! :D

Darlene, from Time-Warp Wife was so sweet to send me a copy of her beautiful book, Messy Beautiful Love: Hope and Redemption for Real-Life Marriages^ and a lovely journal a couple of weeks ago. I met her at Allume back in 2012:


She's an awesome Christian homemaking blogger- she is inspirational and focuses on serving the Lord first, and especially through the lens of home and marriage. She has tons of printables and resources over on her blog too! :)


Darlene's story is gripping from the beginning. I won't tell you everything, but here's a little excerpt from the beginning of the book:
I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t have a home. And I didn’t have a shoulder to cry on. All that I had were the shattered pieces of my life. 
A few hours later I made my way back to the house, where I started packing up a few things I could carry. Michael came into the room and sat down on the far corner of the bed. Staring straight ahead, he started to talk. This was my husband, the man I had lived with for nearly half of my life, but in every way he was different, from the sound of his voice to the way that he carried himself. We were suddenly strangers.
We exchanged words for a while,but at the end of the day I had nothing left to offer him but soiled rags, words of remorse that he couldn’t rely on, and promises where all trust was gone. My eyes were swollen from crying; my heart was heavy with shame. 
“Do you want to stay?” he asked.
AHHHH, right? Oh my goodness! She's an amazing storyteller.

If you're wondering what the rest of the book is all about... 

"Messy Beautiful Love^ delivers an incredible testimony of grace that offers hope for today’s marriages and a spark for rekindling love.

Love gets messy.

Financial problems, sickness, aging parents, a chronically unhappy spouse . . . trials will inevitably come that threaten your marriage. No matter how long you’ve been married or how strong your relationship is, sooner or later you are going to have a mess to clean up.

Messy Beautiful Love is about cleaning up messes God’s way, exchanging your ideas for His, and being prepared for both the best and the worst that marriage has to offer.

When you surrender your relationship to God, then and only then will you experience the blessing of marriage as He intended. This is the blessing of obedience.

Messy Beautiful Love^ is an invitation to that obedience. The cynical world says marriages don’t last, but God knows better. Tune out the world and tune in to Him. When you do that, a beautiful marriage is not only possible, it’s inevitable."

I'm so thankful for the chance to give away 3 copies of this book today! :D


To enter to win a copy of this book, just leave me a comment below telling me your best marriage tip the Lord has taught you in the messy times!

{it could be yours, from books, or even from others!} Also- please leave a way for me to contact you! :)
**comments closed**
U.S. + Canada only. This giveaway closes at September 18, 2014 at 11:59 C.S.T. The winner will be chosen randomly and will be notified by email.



^ = Amazon affiliate link

173 comments

B Partridge said...

The best advice: keep talking, even when the other's feelings may get hurt. For me those hurt feelings have opened the door to honest and deep conversations!
Kpandbp at gmail dot com

Karey said...

Less of me and more Jesus. I need to love my husband as Jesus does in those moments where I find him hard to love.

Michelle H. said...

Be in the habit of offering lots of grace :)

Ashley Spradlin said...

Love my husband like Christ loves the church--unconditionally!

April Pearson said...

My book arrived today but I would love to be able to give one away. The best marriage tip I have read and adapted recently is be a wife of the word, not a wife of the world. The world and society has so many viewpoints on what marriage shouldlook like. Once I decided to serve my husband and let go of what I raised to believe marriage is our relationship grew sooooo much and closer more importantly closer to God.

JenniHusker said...

Keep Jesus at the center of your marriage.

Jessica LaPorte said...

To create 'fighting boundaries' for when we have arguments.

Nicole DiGiuseppi said...

Marriage takes three, God is the glue that holds it together.

Rebecca King said...

Sometimes it's okay if I don't say every little thing that pops into my head. Sometimes I can bite my lip and shut up!

Anonymous said...

One thing I've learned to put into practice a lot lately (by the direction of The Lord) is to let your husband lead. Even though it isn't easy at times, with God's help it's possible and it's worth it :)

Giv Wigzell said...

To be unselfish at every oppurtunity- just like Christ with his bride

Ruth said...

Seek His highest good in all things. It is easy to get caught up in my own desires, but when I truely trust God and seek my husband's highest good in all I do, God is most Glorified.

Kara said...

Be diligent "fox hunters". Look out for anyone or anything that would come between you.

Eliza said...

Don't go to bed without ending a fight with your husband. Try to resolve and seek God' will in the present situation and to give you a heart that is willing to forgive.

Heather said...

The best tip I have learned thru my relationship with the Lord and with my marriage is not try to make my husband into the man I feel he should be. But to humble myself before the Lord and allow Him to work in me, to make me into a helpmeet for my husband,, and to continually pray that God would use our marriage as a tool to strengthen our relationships with Him and eachother:)

Lydia @ The Thrifty Frugal Mom said...

Best tip? To stay committed no matter what....don't even consider divorce an option! Marriage is MUCH harder than I expected, but the commitment even when things have been excruciatingly hard is something I don't ever want to take for granted or stop doing!

Katie N said...

Being a good listener is SO crucial. Sometimes I find myself playing on my phone and not giving my husband my full attention. I know God is working on my heart to become a better listener :)

Anna said...

Speak aloud your desires and expectations of one another… because as much as we would love to be mind readers, we're not. This has helped us a lot so far as newlyweds!

Marlo said...

Divorce is not an option. When you take that of the table it makes you work through the toughest circumstances. (Not accusing anyone who has divorced. Just saying that's a boundary we set before saying I do.)

ebrandt said...

Marriage is work! You can't passively sit by and think your marriage is healthy. You must work everyday to serve and put your spouse first. ebrandt10 at gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Pray before speaking during an argument or disagreement and ask yourself if you would want these words spoken to you. Also you don't always have to right.
pbjellis@gmail.com

Kristen said...

Make your relationship with Jesus your #1 priority. When you are connected to Him and in the Word you will have His eyes for your spouse and can draw from His grace and strength. :)

Emily Silva said...

Offer tons of forgiveness and grace! No one is perfect.

Casey Sass said...

That it takes 3 for a marriage to work. You have to invite God unto your marriage.

Melody said...

My best tip is to Pray...Pray for your marriage, pray with your spouse together for your marriage...And, Don't Ever Give Up!

Olivia said...

Don't jump to conclusions. I always ask questions before I access a situation.

Elizabeth O'Keefe said...

In any relationship, there will be frightening spells in which your feelings of love dry up. And when that happens you must remember that the essence of marriage is that it is a covenant, a commitment, a promise of future love. So what do you do? You do the acts of love, despite your lack of feeling. You may not feel tender, sympathetic, and eager to please, but in your actions you must BE tender, understanding, forgiving and helpful. And, if you do that, as time goes on you will not only get through the dry spells, but they will become less frequent and deep, and you will become more constant in your feelings. This is what can happen if you decide to love.
Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

KBrell said...

Ecclesiastes 4:12. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. Allowing God to be at the center of our marriage has made all the difference in the world!

Jodi Manley said...

Humble yourself, accept responsibility, pray without ceasing, forgive and never go to bed angry

Anonymous said...

I'm reminded that I am in a covenant relationship and that though this time may be hard, God doesn't waste our hurts our our struggles. Dolfinluver29 at Yahoo dot com

Anonymous said...

Well Im on my second marriage with 3 children from the first, now ages 29. 29. and 17 and just got married for second time and had another baby at the age of 44. Blessings beyond belief from this new adventure. But what Ive learned the most out of life and marriages is always always make time for dates and one on one time to reconnect with each other otherwise you will lose that just in day to day life things. Life is so short and the house messes or whatever else you have going on will always be there but you must be present in your relationships and guard and grow them otherwise they will get lost. Ive been reading your blog for a bit now and really enjoy what you have to say. God has truly blessed you with a beautiful family and words to express yourself is just amazing. Love love your blog. Heather.rowlet@yahoo.com

Melissa D said...

Go to bed together. Leave work til tomorrow and spend that time together. Whether watching tv, reading, or playing. Use that time to connect. lilmama41265@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Assume the best, always!
Tiffanyhileman@hotmail.com

p white said...

Remember that most of your spouse's sins are not against you, they are against God, but the ones that maybe against you, forgive, because God forgave you!

Devon Greathouse said...

Being intentional. Praying for and with your spouse.

devypoo53 at hotmail dot com

Hannah said...

Don't try to chance your spouse but do work on changing yourself. I've been reminded of that just recently. :)
hkeroh at gmail dot com

i9jadei9 said...

My biggest tip is for women, and it took me a lot of years to learn this and I still struggle with it! Here it is: Men can't read our minds!! I know we want them to, and sometimes even expect them too, but in doing that we put our expectations out of the realm of possibilities and we end up only letting ourselves down. The truth is that our husbands want to make us happy, if only we would tell them what we want, they'll do it, they want to do it, so give them the opportunity to!

BennieMom14 said...

Always remember that you promised before God to stay married............that has changed my attitude so many times in 26 years!!!

D Carpenter said...

Be the person that God leads me to be, and allow God do the work that only He can do...change a heart!

godstruthmatters@yahoo.com

Rebekah Breon said...

Being "right" isn't ways worth it or important!!

tp110 said...

Prayers, trust, forgiveness, love, and The Lord
tballet@comcast.net

Anonymous said...

Rlbreon@yahoo.com

A mom too said...

Perservere, the hardest thing to do when you want to walk away!

Rae said...

the only tip I have (because my marriage is currently 'messy' :( ) is to make sure you are keeping God in the center of your marriage. At least where your own actions are concerned. Look to Him and what He wants you to do/say and not what your (sinful) heart wants to do/say. Easier said than done. Especially when a spouse hurts us, but it's the right thing to do.

Kim said...

God has made us one. My strengths make up for my husband's weaknesses; likewise, my husband's strengths make up for my weaknesses. Only God could bring two people like that together and make them one!
thezipfs@roadrunner.com

Rae said...

oops. rzimmermarykay@yahoo.co is my email.

Anonymous said...

“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.” (1 Peter 3:1-2)
The beginning of this verse was always so difficult for me, you know...the submissive part, because I'm argumentative, strong-willed, and ALWAYS right. The Lord has provided me a true spiritual leader in my husband, and as I've witnessed his leadership and love for others, I've come more and more to understand this verse as it pertains to my behavior. Instead of always trying to be right for the sake of argument and acting a fool, I've learned to hold my tongue and have ears to hear the Lord through my husband's decisions. He's right the majority of the time, and when he's off track, he discovers himself once he talks things through and listens to my response. - Amber BR

Kelli H. said...

Sometimes you have to treat the other person like the husband/wife you WANT them to be, not the way you think they deserve to be treated. You would be surprised how quickly they rise to the occasion when given the chance.

Melody said...

Forgive easily.
So many things, we could easily hang on to, hold grudges...but why? Talk about it, forgive, and move forward.
Life is too short to be angry...live in love! :)

Deborah said...

I think the biggest lesson I have learned is that I can't force my expectations onto my husband. He doesn't live in my head and doesn't know my exact thoughts!
The other best piece of advice I received when I got married was to learn to love fishing! ha! My man is a BIG fishing fanatic. I'm still working on this one though!

Jessica said...


i keep reading about this book and would love to read it someday. My best marriage tip....Love God and love your spouse before yourself.
jessicamumford@hotmail.com

A. Kaye said...

We're currently going through a big trial. Our 2 year old son was recently put on the transplant list for a liver. We've been in and out of the hospital for 2 months now. We're only home for a week before we're back at the hospital. Each time he comes home with more wires coming out of him. We also have 3 older children and I'm pregnant. My husband and I are not able to spend too much time together. We both look for ways to escape at times. But sometimes one of us needs to vent and cry it out. The other person stops what ever they are doing and listens. I have to remember that my hubby is not me and things will not be done the way I do them. He does the best he can when I'm not home. We try to laugh most days and remember how blessed we are. We will get through this and be stronger afterwards. Tough times always brings us closer.

Barbara Rivera said...

Marriage represents the union between Christ and the church. Did Israel sin against God? Yes, many times and yet we don't see God turning His back on Israel. What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. Only the death of a spouse can end a marriage relationship. There is no exit plan B. Live out your vows every day. In sickness and in health, for better or for worse.

Stephanie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stephanie said...

Serve each other!
Bc dot sf dot hodgson at gmail dot com

Lene said...

Put your spouse's needs before your own, limit your expectations.

Jessica B. said...

I am not my husband's personal holy spirit. He already has one of those.
jesslburke@ hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

Although I have been married to my husband for 21 years now...and we dated for 10 years prior to that, I do not feel like I have any real marriage tips. I feel like I am still in need of learning.
Dawn

M Hals said...

Christ is the Center of Our Marriage and Home. We make it a habit never ever go to bed angry as the Scriptures teach and on a lighter note...we also try to "out do" each other in thoughtfulness everyday (don't laugh but I have even put a towel and wash cloth out for him before he goes to bed and set toothpaste on his toothbrush just to let him know I was thinking of him!). My hubby gets into it too...I've received post it notes, cards, candy like Twix (my favorite yum), and even chai's "just because" from him. ;) mmlovem@aol.com

Idania De Jesus said...

Love God first and you'll love each other more than you can imagine.

Idania De Jesus said...

forgot to add my email address: dejesusidania@yahoo.com

Samantha Hyche said...

Right now Im currently having a situation with my husband so this book would be right on time. But the best advise i can give is to pray. Prayer helps my marriage and life. Just the simplest thing Prayer

Megan M. said...

Forgive, forgive, forgive! I know God has forgiven me so much so I can turn around and forgive my husband.
Emmattinson at gmail dot com

Heather Duncan said...

Talking to each other and pray with and for each other. We went through a very difficult time years ago and because we kept praying, we grew closer and more in love.

Heather Duncan said...

Forgot my email: duncanheather76@hotmail.com

Craig and Kristy said...

Get on your knees! It was not until my husband and I, broken and hurting, rawled out of bed, fell to our knees, sobbing,and crying out to our Lord did we find the peace that passes all understanding.

Kira said...

I am not married right now, but probably will be in the next couple of years...I would love to read this book!

Anonymous said...

Pursue your husband!
Gina- robbyandgina@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Talk. Keep God a part of the picture always!
Mystikalchik3@hotmail.com-shanda :)

Laughter Doeth Good said...

Sometimes you choose to love when you feel they don't deserve it, but when that love is returned on the days that you aren't lovable, you finally understand what grace is. Beth bewarethestitcher@live.com

Erin said...

Instead of complaining about your spouse, say all of the things your thankful they do. A grateful heart wards off discontentment.

Anonymous said...

The best thing that I've ever learned in those messy times: Always remember that Christ is the ONLY one that fully satisfies. Our spouses can never fill all the needs that we have, and we should never expect them to.
mattandaurore @ gmail.com

Holly said...

Remember how you felt the first time you thought about somehing happening to him.

Cary Kent said...

Put God first and it makes it a lot easier. Rely on Him more than your husband. Also, don't try to change him, learn to love him and accept all of his quirks with grace and mercy.

Hope said...

forgot to leave my email: hsattazahn@gmail.com

Morgan said...

If you are in the midst of an argument or disagreement, pray together! It completely changed the atmosphere and brings the will of God and HIS opinions into the situation...not my own;)
Morganaglenn@yahoo.com

Britney May said...

To remember God's never ending grace and perfect love. To remember we both married perfectly imperfect people and can only make it through life's trials and tribulations with God and together.

Lara said...

I think one of the biggest game changers for me is remembering that we are on the same team! We're not opponents. We're in this together. He is for me. I am for him. Christ is for us.

laracasey at gmail dot com

Anonymous said...

I could definitely use or even borrow a book if someone wouldn't mind lending one to a young sahm with a suffering marriage!

Anonymous said...

SarahLayton03@ yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Grace abounding, lots of talking, a healthy amount of time apart and lots of sex!

Kristin dot pyatt at yahoo

Renee VanReed said...

During pre-marital counseling we were told "Never use the words 'never' and 'always'". (ie - "You ALWAYS ___" "You NEVER _____") They said it was the number 1 thing they remember from their pre-marital counseling, and it has been for us as well!

renee.vanreed@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

My best advice I have ever gotten was from listening to KLOVE one morning. Sit back and enjoy the little things in life that God gives you instead of speeding thru and only catching glimpses here and there. I Have learned so much and experienced so much more now since I started doing just that.
hlmshaun4@aol.com

Mercedes Hayman said...

My best advice I received was "Your husband is your brother in Christ first and than your Husband". Knowing that God loves him just as much as he loves me, was an eye opener to me. mercyortega1989@gmail.com

April said...

Keep Jesus at the center of your marriage! I would love to read this book, specially during this messy time right now....

April said...

abuck927@gmail.com

Faith Baker said...

admit when you are wrong and ask for forgiveness from The Lord and your spouse!
fayedanbaker@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Never give up, as long as both of you do that it will always work out cher_hamer@yahoo.com

TORI said...

Communication is key in every relationship and to remember that I am just as messy and sinful as he is! It's only by grace that we are where we are at today! Celebrating second anniversary next Tuesday already!

Stephanie G said...

My best piece of advice was that my spouse is not my enemy. Even when he does things that hurt or irritate me, he is God's gift to me. And it is usually not my spouse's intention to hurt me.

Stephanie G said...

(stephguinn@sbcglobal.net)

Kelly said...

Having The Lord in our marriage!!!

Juliamomof2 said...

Don't talk when you are angry. You'll probably say something you shouldn't.

Tiffany S. Brown said...

The Love has shown me about Grace, because we are humans and we are going to make mistakes and that a marriage needs forgiveness and Grace for those moments.

Anonymous said...

The Lord has taught me in my marriage that trusting Him is the most important thing that I can do. Yes I am called to trust and rely on my husband, but he is merely a human and inevitably there will be times when that I feel that he has failed me. My Lord, however, will never fail or forsake me. When I put my faith in the Lord first, trusting my husband becomes much easier! hdrake525@hotmail.com

Valerie said...

best advice for marriage or any relationship really, love your neighbor (applies to your spouse too!) as yourself!

makingitworthy@gmail.com

Necie D. said...

The Lord has/is graciously teaching me that grace and forgiveness are to be extended not just to family/friends/aquaintances, but especially to my husband. I have a tendency to hold grudges and shut down and each time, it tears us away from eachother. So whether the "intense fellowship" (also known as argument) is tiny or whether is is big, I have a choice to extend grace and forgiveness not matter how I feel. It's the same grace and forgiveness that I rely on from God on a DAILY basis. When I see my husband through THAT lense...the lense of the Cross... and not my own lense, it makes a world a difference in our marriage and in our home <3

Contact info is necie_page@hotmail.com :)

Anonymous said...

Learn how He feels loved! It took me years of our 17 years of marriage to figure out that my hubby feels loved in different ways than I do. It is now much more joyful to me to offer him that which makes him feel cherished. (Could be different for each person ... i.e. love languages, etc. For me, for example, I feel loved with 'acts of service', 'quality time', and, I joke 'good food'. LOL). I'd love to win a copy of this book. I don't have a book to read at the moment! Thanks for the opportunity! Hoping to hear more about your move soon and that it goes so smoothly for you! Hugs! ~Amber elfinspired@comcast.net

Can-da-see said...

Tell the truth and nothing but the truth. My husband and I are newly weds. We have vowed to never keep secrets from each other no matter what to ensure trust.

Andrea Newby said...

There are so many different ways to show love, and we try to get creative about how we express our love for one another. It's about so much more than three little words or a kiss. amnewby@hughes.net

Anonymous said...

Reminding each other that we are not each other's enemy. In the midst of a conflict or "ruffled feathers" :) it is a comfort to reminded of that fact. That we are FOR each other, not against each other.

NicoleM said...

To always speak with kindness and love

underthebrella.com said...

I have learned that being married takes work and you choose everyday to love your spouse unconditionally.
Anne
www.underthebrella.com

Kory said...

It's not about me! Ever.

Jennifer Morgan said...

Be slow to speak and quick to turn to God for guidance! Always pray and ask God to help you examine your own heart before you start pointing fingers. Marriage is worth the battles! Especially when God draws you closer to Him through it all.

Rebekah Gilley said...

Pray for your spouse.

Anonymous said...

Recently we've been learning that we need to say "yes" to each other more than saying " yes" to doing things that please others. So often we are quick to do things for everyone else and yet so quick to tell our spouses "no" or we "don't have enough time" for that right now. We need to get out of people pleasing mode in our jobs/chuches/lives and get into spouse loving mode :) jordancoupons@ymail.com

Bridget said...

My best marriage advice is to pray together, sometimes your praises and worries come out that you never would have said otherwise. bmpavelec@gmail.com

Enjoying this beautiful life we've created said...

To always be my Husbands best friend…even when he's not deserving =)

Kaitlin Stearns said...

Never go to bed angry!!

onehope said...

Consider the consequences of your words before you speak them

Emily Alsbrooks said...

Always say I love you when you're mad! It will help diffuse the situation. emily.alsbroooks@gmail.com

katie h said...

communicate communicate communicate. It's so important to talk about anything and everything when he's gone on his deployments. If we don't talk, we can't grow

Anonymous said...

Listen before you speak and look to the Bible for wisdom in the situation.

Libby said...

To get down on my knees and pray to God for my husband and myself. To ask him for forgiveness and repent and to see my husband through Christ's eyes not my own. All in thanksgiving to God for his Grace Mercy and Love.

Anonymous said...

Pray for each other and believe in each other. We just celebrated our 9 year anniversary last Wednesday, and we have been through so much. Thankful for my husband! erinmcclure114@hotmail dot com

Lordiss Sprague said...

The best marriage advice I have to offer is to not forget spiritual accountability; everything we do needs to be done unto the Lord. There are times I do not feel like serving or feel that he "deserves"it. Then I remember Jesus's gift and I do what is right.

If I happen to win a copy of the book, you can contact me via Facebook or email- lordiss-sprague@ hotmail.com

Nicole B said...

Letting him lead! Why, oh why, is this so hard?! Also, the one marriage tip that we were told when we got married 10 years ago, was to never, ever say the word "divorce". It is just not even something that we allow ourselves to think, no matter how hard things can get or how much we can disagree on things.

Nyckel67@yahoo.com

Carmen N said...

Cling to each other and support one another as much as possible

Jeanne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Angieleigh said...

{hopefully this isn't a duplicate...my first comment disappeared, I think}

To walk away and take a breather when arguments escalate. To listen to my husband and be submissive, even if I don't really want to {and would rather stomp on his feet}. To heed the Lord's voice, and to never, EVER go to bed angry.

Angieleigh: WhisperinAngel@Gmail.Com

Anonymous said...

More Of Him And Less Of Me! Works with our Lord Jesus and definitely works with husbands and kids!! The lesson Jesus taught by washing the legs of His disciples is the most powerful tool we have. He came to serve, so we serve one another.
email: reach.dianamaria@gmail.com

Jeanne said...

When you're not "feeling the love," ask Jesus to give you HIS heart for one another.....it never fails to turn things around, because LOVE NEVER FAILS!!!
jeanne4848@gmail.com

Cheramy said...

So excited about this book! Marriage is messy...and wonderful too. After 19 years and 5 kiddos, my greatest marriage tip? Stand firm. Keep the Truth out and visible, and just don't let go...regardless of how hard. :)

Anonymous said...

Trust his Word and ask the Holy Spirit to live it out. I'm trusting 1 Peter 3
Carey
Musko34@hotmail.com

JennyBC said...

The first thing we ever made an agreement over was to NEVER speak divorce as an option. Things can get messy and feelings can get hurt but never putting that on the table has served as a catalyst to solve problems, not walk away from them. In doing so, it pushes us towards Jesus because we cannot solve our problems on our own.
The second thing I have learned more recently. I returned to work teaching school this year. Our only child at home is at the school where I teach. Wow, has wiring full time outside the home been challenging. I see a lot of things differently regarding how his days are structured and what I should reasonably expect of him when he comes home at the end of a day. I am not saying that my days aren't full either but I appreciate him in a new way now. Always be alert for the new things you can learn about each other.

Kris Bush said...

My best marriage tips? There are two. First, divorce is not an option. If you allow it to be an option then you will be willing to use that option rather than roll up your sleeves and put in the work that marriage requires. Second, remain friends. There will be times when the "passionate love" won't be as prominent but if your friendship is strong then your marriage will thrive as the "passionate love" returns to prominence.

Anonymous said...

My best marriage tip is to always say "I love you" even when you're mad at one another. Because honestly how can you stay mad when someone tells you they love you. This leads to an apology along with open lines of communication.

Anonymous said...

Njclarson@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

There are seasons of life and you have to learn to be in the season your in. Marriage gets complicated and there are times when it would be easier to run the other way, but staying and figuring how to weather the season together is how you learn to love each turn in life. Rjbeech731 at yahoo dot com

Amber said...

I would love to get a copy of this book! I am newly engaged and always want advice on having a happy and healty marriage. Also the author has the same last name I do!!!!! How cool!

Anonymous said...

I would love a copy of this book. My one and only tip - I have not been married long - PRAY! Pray for him, yourself, and your marriage. Frogkb@hotmail.com

Charmayne said...

Commit your marriage to The Lord, and don't hold grudges because it only delays the "Sunshine" at the end of the storm!

Shelley Meacham said...

Don't let the sun set on your anger ... Or ~ actually , Don't go to bed ANGRY!! It was actually years into our marriage before this became something that was part of it ... God truly opened my eyes to this, If angry words are said we both are pretty quick to apologize these days. I thank God for that

My email is: mkchick4u@gmail.com
Thanks for the chance to win !!

graciegirl said...

Forgive your spouse EVEN when it's hard!

Anonymous said...

My mom told me once that God seems to answer prayers about marriage very quickly. I've always found this to be true! I have to pray a LOT, but God always is responsive and helps me be a better spouse. Mikalah @ thetinyteacupblog@gmail.com

Lisa said...

Never let divorce become an option, even in your minds! Lisa.suit@yahoo.com

Alex said...

Laugh together everyday and don't worry/argue about the small stuff.

Osurn07@gmail.com

Nicole Libby said...

Pray for him, laugh with him, and shower love towards him. jnlibby@gmail.com

Jeannie said...

Don't waste time on silly arguments just because you want to be right.

Anonymous said...

I have been a widow for 10 years now but the Lord showed me that the closer I drew to Him the closer He was to me throughout any and all difficulties in my life, including the years I was married.

Stacey Rives said...

Don't let go, no matter how hard it seems, it will get better

Leslie Moss said...

Lots of forgiveness times 70

Mary and Sarah E said...

Most important for me is to listen...both to God and to my spouse. Marinda Ebersole

Anonymous said...

A wonderful christian counselor once advised us to communicate using the Magic 4 Method. The method includes 4 simple statements (usually stated in the order listed and without any extra "fluff" words)...I feel ____, because I think ____. I want ____ & I need ____. This method helps to simply state and decipher the difference between our feelings, thoughts, wants, and needs; which helps to prevent communication confusion, frustration, and fatigue. I believe it helps to bridge the gap between differing communication styles of husband & wife.

Contact info...TakenByJeff@gmail.com

Kristi G said...

Pray for my husband. I remember during a very painful time in our marriage every time my husband would fall asleep I would lay hands on him and pray. I remember the great connection I had to the Lord and my husband. How wonderful it is to see God change hearts and minds!

Shawna said...

Keep God centered in your relationship and know you are on the same team! <3

sunshine-spirit@hotmail.com

Aimee Niblack said...

Don't let bitterness over their actions take hold, but pray for them and for yourself. Love them no matter what. Oh, and don't try to be the Holy Spirit. That's a hard one for me!
a_niblack at yahoo dot com.

0e7a4c4c-3f00-11e4-a1bb-839a78f977f2 said...

We are going through that messy time right now and my best advice came from my two year old. He said "Nothing can separate us from Gods love". He learned it at Sunday school but it spoke right to my heart. No matter where we are in our marraiges we can rest assured that he is always with us. We, I, need to stay focused on The Lord and allow myself to be loved by Him. He is the one who can heal, restore, and uplift. So I will look to the hills to where my help comes from, The Lord.

Natalie said...

Stay connected with your spouse... talking, studying up on each other, praying, etc... because once your children are grown and moved, it will once again be just the two of you. Don't find yourselves to be strangers when it comes. Email is nalacy86@gmail

Megan said...

That nobody's perfect, grace is required, and patience is a virtue through and through.

Dessy Mullane said...

Not talking doesn't make things go away but neither does talking, talking, talking and not REALLY listening!

Nicci said...

Sometimes I think going to bed "angry" is OK. I personally need time for my temper to cool, the flesh to ebb and to give God's voice a chance to speak to me. Usually one of us is asleep before this happens : )

lauren said...

Assume the best of your spouse.

Nicci said...

sorry, email is nhilsinger@gmail.com Nicci

Joselyn Tedrow said...

Probably the best (and hardest) advice comes straight from Genesis 2:18, "And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." We were created to be their helper, period. There is no qualifying statement that said we only have to help if he is nice, or if he treats us well. Not easy to do, but it is what we are called to do. Blessings

Anonymous said...

I have been married a little over a year and one of the things that I have learned and am still working on is that when I am irritated by the way my husband performs a task or a chore, I need to remember that his way of doing something isn't bad. It may be totally different or opposite from me and I may never like it, but he is not purposefully trying to annoy me by doing something differently from me. He actually had to tell me that once because I had gotten so irritated with him and was acting kind of mean! It is good for me to remember when I feel myself start to complain or get irritated. I would love to read this book, I am so intrigued by the bit you shared in the post.
annie.hickey@mac.com

Jaime Wasserman said...

Don't forget to still date your spouse no matter how long you have been married or how many kids come along!

Anonymous said...

Loving your spouse is a choice that you need to make everyday. No marriage is going to be without its problems but when you wake up everyday with the attitude that no matter I am going to choose to love him/her you can work thru anything.
katinamyers28@yahoo.com

Christine said...

Loving our husbands can be and often is the hardest jobs we will be afforded in life. BUT, marriage is a blessing and is to be handled as such - built on trust in the Lord and in one another.

Christine said...

christine.hicks5@gmail.com ^^^^

Stacey said...

One of the best things we started from day one, we have been married for almost 21 years, is we always tuck in each other & pray together every night before bed. Usually we go to bed together, but once or twice a week, depending on kids schedules, one person may stay up later than the other person. If this happens, we will cuddle up together in the bed, pray together, and the other person will tuck in the one going to bed. Now, when we go to bed together, we cuddle up with each other & pray...then he tucks me. I feel like through this "ritual", when we are going thru "messes", this time together brings us together and allows us to be reminded that we are a team.

Anonymous said...

I would say TRY to keep a sense of humor, and pick your battles. It is not always easy in the heat of the moment. Let some small things go. Also, remember that whatever you are going through, God WILL use it for good!
Debbie
mcphillipsfamily5@comcast.net

Anonymous said...

Ahh! I could actually use this read right now! Looks super amazing! My best tip is actually from Joyce Meyer. To adopt the way of thinking that I may be right, may feel right but I could be wrong too;) Mary

Anonymous said...

Bekat508@hotmail.com

The Funk's said...

We have learned to always assume the best of each other. For me in particular, it's easy to "read in" to statements and take things offensively, oftentimes resulting in an argument. If I assume the best of my husband from the beginning, confident that he loves me and wouldn't deliberately say something to hurt me, we can discuss it without me feeling the like a victim and avoid the conflict.

Anonymous said...

Forgiveness goes a long way.

I would love to read this book!
Bbazmore@gmail.com

Kelley said...

Remember that he is on my side... even when it doesn't feel like it. We both have the same goals and we both need to remember to believe the best of each other. He is not my enemy. He is for me. :)

Anonymous said...

Attentiveness!! put down what you are doing or turn it off for a bit when we speak to each other it is with full mind body and heart.
awishh@hotmail.com

Amy said...

Listen more than you speak.

Anonymous said...

Love unconditionally! This books sounds amazing thank you for the offer!

Angie said...

Marriage takes three to be complete. I have this poem hung in our bedroom.

Veronica Sampson said...

Grace! God has been so gracious to me and he gives me the grace to love my husband (and vice versa!) even when it it so hard! Thanks for the giveaway! :)
Veronica
sampson.scoping at gmail.com