the complaining experiment: quieting a negative spirit | part 4

This is the conclusion of the complaining experiment. Read more about this experiment in part 1, part 2: when it gets messy, and part 3: defeating core lies about motherhood.

Source: via Mandy on Pinterest

I'm so, so thankful for you guys- for you all walking through this experiment with me. It's been such a enormous, painful challenge for me.

I feel like God has been so good to show me these things about my heart- and I'm so encouraged by you all- you let me know that you struggle too, and that God's working on your heart the same way. It is such a blessing and comfort to know you!

My life has been radically changed this month- I learned about the core lies I was believing that were underneath and part of my complaining spirit, and I saw how the love of self was keeping me from loving and serving others the way I should.

This experiment is a much bigger project than can be completed in one month {and I realize reining in my tongue is a battle I will face as long as I'm alive}, but I feel like my whole attitude has shifted in only a couple of weeks!

Complaints aren't forming in my heart as much as they used to. It's not about biting my tongue any more- because I don't feel like I have as much to complain about! Isn't that crazy?? So different than I expected! I thought it was more about keeping my mouth shut than changing my heart!

Does that sound too good to be true to you? It does to me! He is so crazy good to us! :)

I'm so grateful the Holy Spirit is doing something I could never do on my own. Ever.

I was thinking on the whole thing this weekend, and here's the steps it feels like God took me through this month to get to this crazy change- how He seemed to quiet my complaining spirit:

1. realizing the problem
The Lord put it in my heart in December to work on my complaining spirit as part of my "be" character goals for the year. I knew I complained but until I started this project I had no idea how much.

2. actually listening to my complaining words
This was the first week of my project and part of the second. Over and over again, the words would come, and I would be shocked that I did it and sinned again. It was so stinking hard to hear. If I did it again, I would add a writing exercise- and journal my complaining for a day.

3. being broken
God showed me my sin, and took me to a place of being completely broken- I hit the bottom {so to speak}, and saw just how hard my heart had become.

4. confessing my sin + begging for change
I cried out to God- asking Him for change. And He did it. He DID IT! oh, how I love Him.

5. letting Him do the work

He mercifully orchestrated events to happen in my life to show me my sin and to show me my heart, and He changed it through so many things. He provided a chance to go to the MomHeart conference and the chance to have hours of alone time in prayer. It was unreal. He taught me so much in those few hours.

He did it all. I didn't do any of it. Only by His grace and love for me has He brought about the amazing heart shift that He did. I can only give the praise to Him- He is loving.

Do I still stumble and complain? Unfortunately. I'm nowhere near where I would like to be. But God did such a wonderful thing for me this month- He made me love being a mother again. He quieted my complaining spirit by revealing the lies of Satan and by changing my heart to love more like He does.

so thankful the Lord renewed my passion for my little ones this month! :D aren't they the cutest?
Please pray for me- for Him to continue to work on my heart- to continue to work on my complaining spirit.

And if you are struggling with this too, please email me! I would love to walk through it with you, and keep each other accountable through prayer and email! :)

He is so good to us, isn't He? To take us and make us new again. His mercies are new every morning! We don't deserve such a wonderful crazy wonderful love!


  1. Praise God! He is so good!

  2. What a wonderful post. I need this right now! I feel like I'm continually complaining. I'm tired. I'm sore. I'm rundown. I'm busy. Here are some of the things I am currently complaining about in a positive light, Lord let me say THESE things rather than let complaints escape my mouth.
    - We are moving in 3 weeks, to a larger home on a beautiful property. Blessed.
    - We have one beautiful, energetic daughter. Blessed.
    - We are expecting a new baby in June. Blessed.
    - We have 3 weeks to prepare one house to live in and one house to rent. Two houses. Blessed.
    Thanks again for the post. Very timely for me and a great reminder to rely on God.

  3. Thank you for your openness and honesty! I love your blog! I have been right where you just came from. The selfishness...I was a better mom to my crew when they were little, now the teenage stage is causing me to be super frustrated! Shouldn't they have learned by now?!!? LOL Wanting like you to check out, escape...Thank you for doing this. I would like to continue to pray for each other and hold each other accountable :-)

  4. I just found your blog and am loving it! I too have struggles very much similar to what you have been describing. Thank you for your transparency!


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