when suffering reveals your idolatry

This quote feels like everything the Lord keeps showing me right now:

source: Search the Scriptures
When sorrow, pain, trials, fear, or uncertainty comes I see just HOW quickly I want something or anything familiar to make me feel happy again!! My heart aches, and suddenly I just need comforting food, a date, to shop for something fun, or even to just go lie in my bed! Lately the Lord's been gently reminding me again of how deeply I've anchored my joy to happy circumstances rather than to the Orchestrator of my circumstances.  When life grows difficult, I'm quick to start laying out the plans for a golden calf (any old calf!) to comfort myself!! It's terrible, awful idolatry!

I am an idolater when I set up my own happiness as my master and ultimate goal. My sinful self was never meant to be my source of joy! (and my attempts to comfort myself never satisfy me for long, anyway!)

But when I look to Jesus and worship Him instead, I no longer need X,Y, or Z to make me feel better. He is the reason I can have joy, whether I'm young or old, free or in prison, a mother or not a mother, can exercise or become paralyzed, no matter if my hair all falls out, all my children and husband die, or I die an early, painful death myself- nothing can change the fact that He is my salvation, my strength, and the source of all joy. And He is good. Always. No matter the situation.

That's why poverty of spirit is so wonderful: difficult circumstances buckle my knees and make me fall on my face and worship Him alone because I know I can't face it on my own. And there in my weakness, He shows His strength! It's there He shows me how little I can do on my own, and it's there He displays His wonderful love, His marvelous power, and just how much I can trust Him! And He's so very gentle. When my heart is aching, He leads me by still waters, and He restores my soul. He is my only true Comfort.

Oh friend, He is worthy of glory, honor, and praise forever!!

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:3-4

He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Isaiah 40:29

This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life.
Psalm 119:50